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Unsung Heroes of Hollywood: The Films of Elizabeth Kaitan

Unsung Heroes of Hollywood: The Films of Elizabeth Kaitan

Each month I’m going to take a look at an actor, actress, or filmmaker that I grew up loving and has informed my own career (if calling what I do in the industry qualifies as such) in writing or performing. Films are supposed to be fun, entertaining ventures that allow an escape from the day-to-day happenings of our lives. Why not celebrate the uncelebrated, folks. Join me on my quest as I gush over those who have inspired me to put words on a website that will ultimately never equate what it means to be honored by their peers at an official award show or film festival.

‘Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood’

The Friday the 13th franchise holds a special place in my heart. With this first piece dropping on a Friday the 13th, one of two in 2017, I thought it might be fitting to take a look at one of my favorite characters in the series and her work in other genre pieces. A Hungarian born model turned actress, Elizabeth Kaitan plays Robin in John Carl Buechler’s seventh entry in the franchise. Trading in her trademark blonde locks for a more subdued head of red hair, Robin isn’t your typical “have sex, smoke pot, and die” camper, folks. Elizabeth Kaitan’s portrayal of a cute, young would-be victim is a departure from the campers that we’ve come to expect to set-up shop along Crystal Lake. Robin, along with her friends, find themselves hold up inside a cabin waiting for their friend, William Butler’s fantastic Michael, to show up for his surprise birthday party. Due to car problems, and a freshly resurrected Jason Voorhees, Michael never makes it to the party. What are the kids to do? Aside from making fun of the neighborhood telepath, Robin and her bestie Maddy pine for the affection of young stoner David. Obviously I am only speculating here, but with infamous producer Barbara Sachs ruining SFX on set, and the MPAA’s clear hard-on for the film’s violence, Beuchler had more room than he probably ever intended to let the characters breathe in “The New Blood,” again, only speculating. I personally feel this adds to the film’s longevity. Sure, the kills are still gory fun, and Jason looks amazing in this outing, but what keeps me coming back to this sequel of choice are the characters. Kaitan’s Robin is fantastic here as you can really see the wheels turning inside the character. She is going to fuck David by any means necessary! Even if that means changing who she might have been when she arrived at the cabin. She’ll smoke a little dope if it means time with the hunk. Hell, she’ll even throw her friend under the bus and straight up tell her she’s not good enough if it means she’ll get a piece of the young rocker. She’s believable as every girl that ever said no to me only to turn around and date my friends in high school. Needless to say as a young man I was smitten, as a (not so wise) 31 year old, the performance inspires.

Elizabeth Kaitan in ‘Silent Night, Deadly Night 2’

After my love affair with the Friday the 13th series started it didn’t take long before I ventured out into other genre franchises. I soon found myself seeing Elizabeth Kaitan pop up in various films, but the very first time I remember seeing her outside of Crystal Lake was on Garbage Day! 1987’s “Silent Night, Deadly Night 2” is not a favorite of mine by any means. But deep inside the film was a performance that the film did not deserve, but was awarded when Kaitan was cast in a supporting role as Jennifer. In a film that is comprised of footage reminding us how much better its predecessor was, Kaitan grounds the over-the-top film with a believable performance that makes you feel like you’re actually watching a great movie. Many years after seeing the film for the first time it taught me a lesson as an actor person in this crazy industry. If you commit to the role, you can’t really go wrong, folks. In many cases an actor is only as good as the material they’re given, true, but sometimes you realize the material is better when the right actor or actress is cast. I’m not tearing “Silent Night, Deadly Night 2” down. That is not my intention. But there is no denying that Kaitan is in a different film here. In a film full of characters that are interpreting the script in one way that doesn’t gel with me as a viewer, Kaitan hits all the notes perfectly in a film I think I would enjoy quite a bit.

‘Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity’

In a career that spanned two decades and includes 39 films, there is one film that I will go back to time and time again. “Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity” is not only, in this writer’s opinion, Elizabeth Kaitan’s best work on screen, but also one of the top films in the science fiction genre. Written and Directed by Ken Dixon, “Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity” transcends the B-Picture genre it found itself in. Like “Silent Night, Deadly Night 2” I believe this comes down to the performances. Unlike “Silent Night, Deadly Night 2”, everyone is on board with Kaitan in how the decided to play the material. Again, commit! On paper Slave Girls has about as good of a chance as any other bikini clad space flick from the 80s, but fuck if it’s not better than the majority of films to come out of the 80s. This film is not cheese for cheese’s sake. If you call it cheesy, we will exchange harsh words. Limited only by its budget, hence the rubber suits, early digital effects, and the castle walls wavering whenever bumped into, the performances of Kaitan and costars Cindy Beal, Don Scribner, Brinke Stevens, all the way down the cast list are superb. What Slave Girls lacks in on-screen monetary value it more than makes up for with a helluva lotta heart. In the film Kaitan plays Daria, a tough as nails woman that breaks her chains (literally!!) as a blonde victim and turns hero always finding herself one step ahead of the film’s heavies. And she’s funny to boot. I just love it. Her performance is tongue firmly placed out of cheek and played as serious as Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley here. In a low budget film it is so easy to wink at the camera and share a laugh with the audience, but for my money a true talent will put their head down and forge new ground when tackling subject matter in a serious and believable manner. Kaitan, and the entire cast, deliver. What strikes me most about the film 30 years later is how well it holds up. Seriously, check it out on Full Moon Streaming right now. This film is full of so much that made watching films in my youth fun. Action! Nudity! Spaceships! Killer robot servants! A sword fight! Battle armor! Come on! Dixon based the screenplay on Richard Connell’s short story “The Most Dangerous Game”. Fun Fact: Connell’s story has spawned, per IMDb, at least 18 film adaptations. Having not read the story as of this writing, I can not attest to how accurate of an adaptation it is, but I’m certain this is the only one that features Elizabeth Kaitan. So it wins hands down. I spent the majority of my teenage years fantasizing about endless sequel ideas. “Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity” is the world’s greatest untapped franchise in my 14 year old mind. Seriously, Charles Band, I got you, Sir.

Elizabeth Kaitan in ‘Vice Academy 3’

In ’91 Elizabeth Kaitan replaced departing Linnea Quigley in “Vice Academy 3” starring alongside Ginger Lynn, Julia Parton, Jordana Capra, and John Henry Richardson. Written and Directed by Rick Sloane, creator of the “Vice Academy” series, the film proved to be a comedic stepping stone for Kaitan who’s comedic timing thrived with the witty, satirical material provided by Sloane. Having starred in the fun “Assault of the Killer Bimbos” in ’88, and “The Girl I Want” in ’90, along with one liners here and there, Kaitan was certainly no stranger to comedy, but “Vice Academy 3”, really is a coming out party for the actress. I assume Rick Sloane had the same feeling as he continued to work with Kaitan for the remainder of the series. In most scenarios, as franchises go on, actors are replaced, a franchise will start to hurt and eventually fizzle out. But Sloane, Kaitan, series regular Jayne Hamil, and later Raelynn Saalman as ‘Traci’, turn that theory on its head. Each film together Sloane and Kaitan put their best foot forward and the audience is treated to solid efforts time and again. I love Ginger Lynn and Linnea Quigley in the first two films, but this is Kaitan and Hamil’s series. Kaitan proves once again that committing to your role is key, even when commitment is to over-the-top silliness. In the world Sloane has crafted, you buy it. These films are just plain fun. I wish we could get an in-depth documentary on the films a lá “Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th”, but I doubt we’ll see the day. Or will we? Mr. Sloane, if you’re out there…call me!

Elizabeth Kaitan, we salute you!

Since 2000 Elizabeth Kaitan has retired from acting, but has stepped back in front of the camera a few times to reminisce about the Friday the 13th films in select documentaries and bonus features over the years. Now married, Elizabeth Ruiz appears to have left the entertainment industry for good, but it seems she remains active in her community and continues to fight for the betterment of animals and toward stopping animal cruelty. I don’t think I’ll ever stop wishing for her return to acting. A bright star all these years later, her performances have taught not only myself, but many genre fans valuable lessons. To study her career would do any Hollywood hopeful a great service.

Jeremy Morrison – Staff Writer
Co-creator/host of the Acid Pop Cult Podcast, film reviewer, screenwriter, Jeremy has more than eight years experience in television and film production. His childhood fascination with the naked breasts featured in the “Friday the 13th” franchise prepared him for absolutely nothing in life. J-Mo lives by one motto: #wecantallbezacksnyder
Twitter: @acidpopcult
IG: @almostgothim

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LEGENDARY RACKS: The Top 12 Boobs of The ‘Friday The 13th’ Franchise!

LEGENDARY RACKS: The Top 12 Boobs of The ‘Friday The 13th’ Franchise!

friday-the-13th-2015

Earlier this year, Jeremy Morrison of the Acid Pop Cult Podcast (www.acidpopcult.com) sat down to pound out (sorry for the pun) one of the most controversial lists ever created — ‘The Top 12 Boobs of The Friday The 13th Series.’ As Halloween rapidly approaches, we figured we would revisit the list and provide you with some “eye candy” for the spookiest of seasons! The list is obviously not safe for work but perfect for this quiet nights alone. Enjoy! Be sure to check out the plethora of new podcast episodes as well!


When I think of the Friday the 13th series, three things come to mind: Camp Counselors (which only appear in the first, second, and sixth installments), inventive kills, and boobs. Oh boobies, how you’re a cornerstone of the Friday franchise. Many breasts have appeared in the series over the years. While some stay hidden behind a nice cotton top or slinky bikini, others are allowed to come out of hiding to share in the scares. Men, women, and children of all ages know that the infamous hockey masked slasher is synonymous with stiff nippled cups of all shapes and sizes.

Now before I continue let me say that I love all boobs. Boobs are fantastic. From natures true intentions for the breast, up to rapidly google searching the perfect pair whilst in the bathroom to aid in a quick release, boobs are the most wonderful things ever created. I hold no prejudice toward any class of mammaries. I first came up with the idea for this list four years ago, but I found it insanely difficult to accomplish. How can you pass judgement when they are all so great? Who do I think I am? I swear I am not a misogynist. I am not sexist. Before you email me or the show, just remember this: I LOVE BOOBS.

So four years later I think I’ve figured out how to pull this off, no pun intended, to where I could forge this list and not catch any flack. I’ve decided to narrow it down to the top 12 pairs with one catch. I can only choose one pair per flick. Hypothetically if someone was in a pinch, they could gaze upon this list and make an educated guess on where to go in the series to unload some stress. Now, again, I love and respect all breasts in this series, and life in general. And this is very much based on my own personal taste. So feel free to share your own list with us over at the Facebook page, or by emailing the show at AcidPopCult@gmail.com.


LET’S DO THIS!

12 Saffron Handerson JJ Jason Takes Manhattan

Number 12: From Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan – Saffron Henderson – “J.J. Jarrett”

“What are you talking about, J-Mo? J.J. doesn’t even get nekkid!” RIGHT?!! Get used to it, gentle reader. Like I said, I hold no prejudice to the boobs. And I never said the boobs had to make a special guest appearance in the flick. Saffron Henderson plays metal-head J.J., a guitar virtuoso that is looking for bitchin’ spots aboard the ship to film her music video. What J.J. lacks in common sense while traversing the bowels of the boat, she makes up for in sexy pleather and a hot pink top. A character that feels like a cross between Lita Ford and Joan Jett, J.J. sports one of the most metal deaths in the entire series when she gets her brains bashed in by her own Flying-V axe. Horns up for J.J. at number 12.


11 Monica Keena LORI Freddy Vs. Jason

Number 11: From Freddy vs. Jason – Monica Keena – “Lori Campbell”

Freddy vs. Jason is one of those flicks that I ate up when it first hit the theaters. But upon it’s home video release it fell out of favor with me. I could write a whole essay on why I think Freddy vs. Jason is the worst film in both franchises, hell, the history of cinema even, but I won’t. We’re celebrating something here. That something is Monica Keena’s wonderful assets. There are two things I find interesting about Monica Keena’s performance as Lori in Freddy vs. Jason and that is why she lands at number 11 on our list.


10 Kristi Angus ADRIENNE Jason X

Number 10: From Jason X – Kristi Angus – “Adrienne”

Kristi Angus sports one of the cooler half sweaters while also managing to find herself on the wrong end of arguable one of the coolest kills in franchise history. Her apperance is brief, but it will stay with you for a long time. If I was tech savvy, I’d use the popular gif of her death for her image. How Kane Hodder had the ability to expose just enough of Adrienne’s underboob while manhandling her to the sink full of cryo freeze just in time to dip her face in before smashing it against the counter-top and tossing her hollowed husk of a head to the side, is beyond me. Holy run-on-sentence, Mrs. Voorhees! It works. Moving on.


9 Jeaninne Taylor MARCIE Friday the 13th 1980

Number 9: From Friday the 13th – Jeannine Taylor – “Marcie Cunningham”

At number 9 a franchise and genre wide standard was set by little Marcie Cunningham. Every Friday the 13th to follow would have a girl travel the camp grounds at some point; shoe-less, in her panties, and wearing a shirt while asking “Is that you…”. After filling up on Kevin’s bacon, Marcie heads over to the camp bathroom to quote classic Hollywood lines in a mirror, read cute jokes on the wall, and show us why you should never check the showers for would-be-prankster friends. And as the photographic evidence above shows, Jeannine Taylor is a candidate for Best Butt, too.


8 Michelle Clunie DEBORAH Jason Goes to Hell The Final Friday

Number 8: From Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday – Michelle Clunie – “Deborah”

This is why you should always force him to wrap it up, ladies. Deborah and her boyfriend Luke, along with third-wheel Alexis, think it is finally safe to camp at Camp Crystal Lake. After a quick dip in the frigid water, Deborah and Luke decide to take the franchise down a road it had yet to see: borderline hardcore porn. The 90’s taught us a lot. Among many lessons was that the MPAA would not tolerate heavy thrusting followed by a iron rod to the torso. Especially if that rod then split the torso in two, revealing a crimson geyser that splashes across a man’s face, neck and chest. I didn’t know much about sex until the summer of ’94. At nine years old I quickly discovered the difference between making love and fucking. Though pretty and sweet, making love was alright. Fucking, however, would make boobies bounce around frantically. Boobs? great. Bouncing boobs? Is there anything more awesome on a human body? Not if you’re this writer.


7 Tracie Savage DEBBIE Part III 3D

Number 7: From Friday the 13th part III 3-D – Tracie Savage – “Debbie”

Number 7 is definitely not sponsored by the Medical Association of America. Tracie Savage portrays Debbie, a pot smoking, beer drinking, unprotected sex having, cool chick. Oh yeah, she’s pregnant too! Yes, soon-to-be-mommy Debbie (Did YOU add the fetus to Jason’s kill totals?!?) is trying to help her friend over come her fear of an encounter by a creepy dude that probably raped her and just happens to be Jason a year prior to the events of this flick and Part II (as Part II leads directly into Part III, but is five years after the events of Part I. Confused? Good, me too!) So Debbie, her highschool boyfriend, a few other weirdos, and two old as fuck hippies head out to the lake. Debbie doesn’t spend much time helping her friend, however, as she and her boyfriend want to make sure they get a head-start on practicing on that second kid as soon as possible. After some sexy time, Debbie treats us to a glance of her handfuls-of-goodness during a steamy shower. The first of many showers to be had in the franchise.


6 Jennifer Cooke MEGAN Jason Lives

Number 6: From Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives – Jennifer Cooke – “Megan”

Remember, wherever the red dot goes, ya bang. Jennifer Cooke’s Megan is hands down one of the coolest female leads to have graced the franchise with her presence. Is anyone else dying to know what exactly is going on underneath that cute little cropped sweater? Megan is also in possession of one of the tightest pair of jeans in the history of western civilization, as proven by a fan favorite Tommy Jarvis POV during that epic chase scene. Jennifer Cooke is a treasure to the franchise. I honestly feel super bad I couldn’t justify her being higher on the list. I don’t even mind that she keeps her clothes securely around her body during the film. Sometimes, like the horror movie death scenes, it’s what you don’t see that is the best part. So at number 6, from number 6, and released in ’86, Jennifer Cooke, we here at APC salute you. #swoon


5 Marta Kober SANDRA Part II

Number 5: From Friday the 13th Part II – Marta Kober – “Sandra”

This spot almost went to Friday the 13th Part II star Amy Steel, but I made a one pair per film rule, and at the end of the day I am a sucker for a short brunette with big naturals. For proof just look to Producer Danielle. Sandra and Jeff are a mischievous pair of camp counselors. When they’re not getting brought in by the local sheriff, they’re off making love before becoming a human shish kabob. Sandra, like the bible’s very own Eve, is the mastermind behind most of their adventures. Sandra and Jeff are the franchise’s prototype couple. Sandra’s bikini top secures her spot at number 5 on this ridiculous list.


4 Judie Aronson SAMANTHA The Final Chapter

Number 4: From Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter – Judie Aronson – “Samantha”

The science isn’t very weird as to why Judie Aronson is a solid top five pick. At number 4 Aronson’s portrayal of Samantha is everything we’ve come to know and love about the franchises ladies that find them selves at the wrong place at the wrong time. Corey Feldman’s Tommy Jarvis had a front row seat when Samantha finds herself in front of a window as she stripped down to her birthday suit. Unfortunately just as the action started to heat up, Tommy’s mom has to kill the mood completely by pulling down the shade. Fortunately for us, Sam and her friends decide it best to strip and dip at the lake the next day. Still not convinced? Moments after losing her boyfriend to one half of the double mint twins, Sam takes a stroll to the lake to cool off. She doubles our pleasure when she strips down to nothing and swims out to a raft, moments before Jason gives her the ultimate Oh Shit face.


3 Elizabeth Kaitan ROBIN A New Blood

Number 3: From Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood – Elizabeth Kaitan – “Robin”

If you’re a fan of b-movies from the 80s-90s, then you’re sure to know this face and chest. Elizabeth Kaitan skyrocketed to success in genre picture after genre picture. I’m a tad bias because I am a huge fan of hers from the Vice Academy series, but she earns her stripes in the Friday franchise after bedding the lovable stoner and then teasing us viewers with glimpses here an there of those sweet naturals. Robin follows in the footsteps of the original films Marcie when she meets her demise post coitus as she searches for her boyfriend while barefoot and wearing a shirt. I always felt her death was a tad weak sauce, as I have never been a fan of when Jason simple throws a beautiful girl from a window.  But, if memory serves correctly, Robin had a much better death designed, but the filmmakers had to scrap it when they ran low on time. People claim that Part VII is their favorite because of the FX and it being Kane Hodder’s first trip to Crystal Lake, but I wonder if they’re just too embarrassed to admit it’s because of Ms. Kaitan’s sweet naturals.


2 Julianna Guill BREE Friday the 13th 2009

Number 2: Friday the 13th (2009) – Julianna Guill – “Bree”

Julianna Guill comes in at number 2 on our list and for good measure. When it was announced that Friday the 13th was being remade by Platinum Dunes, fans across the world took a collective gasp. Then when a producer said in an interview that they were embracing everything that fans loved about the series including sexual charged young adults, everyone exhaled and thought what I thought: “It’s impossible to fuck up a Friday the 13th movie.” I’m happy to admit that I was right. You really can’t screw up a Friday the 13th movie. The formula is so simple. Drugs, hot guys and girls,  sex, copious amounts of blood, a hockey masked killer (or bag headed), inventive kills. Now add in the adorable Julianna Guill as nympho Bree and you have a closet fan favorite. I love this film. Derek Mears owns as Jason. Bree and Trent have the greatest sex scene of the franchise putting Jason Goes to Hell’s tent sex to shame. Trent even utters the line that everyone is thinking when he tells Bree that her tits are stupendous. He later goes on to compliment her nipple placement. Her nipple placement! I’m telling you, you can’t fuck up a Friday the 13th film. Unless you’re Ronny Yu.


1 Debisue Voorhees TINA A New Beggining

Number 1: From Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning –  Deborah “Debisue” Voorhees – “Tina”

The number one best breasts belong to an actress that happens to share the surname of the masked maniac, and if you’ve never had a chance to peep out these heavy hangers, you’re missing out. Friday the 13th gets a wicked bad rap. And in a movie that could have claimed eight of the 12 spots on this list, it’s a no brainer that Deborah will take top honors every time. Deborah’s Tina also walks away with one of the more vicious kills of the whole entire series, in my so very humble opinion. Tina and her lunatic boy-toy Eddie fuck like rabbits, but most all of it is just eluded to during other characters’ dialogue. But when director Danny Steinmann finally lets us take a peek at one of Tina and Eddie’s romps in the woods, he keeps us there until we can’t see straight. Get it? Because both die in eye related deaths. Genius. I digress. Debisue Voorhees will forever be remembered as the best of the best when it comes to slasher flick nudes. Her boobs are simply the best.


SUMMATION: 

So that’s it folks. Four years of taunting the audience, I finally pulled the trigger. Hopefully you readers know that this is meant in fun. No disrespect was intended toward any of the actresses left off of, or appearing on the list. Nudity is only one of many reasons to check out the Friday the 13th flicks. Friday the 13th, to me, has always meant a fun time with friends, or even alone. An escape from the day-to-day horrors of the real world to watch an indestructible killer stalk and murder groups of characters that we the audience see ourselves in. I mainly wanted to compile this list because there aren’t very many lists like it outside of maybe a Mr. Skin countdown. I’m too lazy to fact check that claim. The sex and nudity play a key role in the history and success of these films. Boobs, like the inventive kill scenarios and gallons of blood, should be celebrated. Hooray for titties, folks. Until next time, we’ll see you next Tuesday (K)night! – Jeremy L. Morrison

Jeremy Morrison – Staff Writer
Co-creator/host of the Acid Pop Cult Podcast, film reviewer, screenwriter, Jeremy has more than eight years experience in television and film production. His childhood fascination with the naked breasts featured in the “Friday the 13th” franchise prepared him for absolutely nothing in life. J-Mo lives by one motto: #wecantallbezacksnyder
Twitter: @acidpopcult
IG: @almostgothim

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